disassociate, part one

This word, such as it occurs in the history of language, suggests this: in association, we come together, intimately, most often, as referenced from the 15th century Latin. It follows then that to disassociate is to uncouple, part, disconnect. This, as in the body, as if you were to watch from the sky above, or hover adjacent on the dance floor. On a few nights in a city I did not live in, I came to know this trance, individually situated, and with another, hands held, together. We had no relationship to the city, but to each other, our narratives mingled, which could be a kind of determination of love. I can’t say the substance became pleasure. It was something else altogether. John Locke wrote that a person is “defined by their apparent expression of consciousness,” but what becomes of the person when released, body from mind, drifting, as in disassociation?

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